Runway Radio’s Breakfast host Ben Holland speaks out about the news that Metrobus are increasing some of their ticket prices. You can hear Ben every weekday morning from 6:30 -10am at www.runwayradio.co.uk
On the 24th of January, Metrobus increased their fare for buses in the Crawley, Redhill & Reigate and Horsham Metrorider boundaries.
Adult tickets now cost £2.40, whilst children can still get away with the absolute bargain price of £1.20.
Whilst a Metrobus statement says the price hike is “due to increasing costs”, I suspect otherwise. The price is a clearly due to Metrobus needing more money in order to fund their ‘Bus-Human’ hybrid, similar to the research done recently to create a hybrid species of humans and pigs (side note: that is 100% true, look it up).
The obvious advantage of a ‘Bus-Human’ hybrid of course is Metrobus would no longer have to pay for petrol, instead the busses would be able to run on student’s diet of Tea and Pot Noodles.
However, it is unfair of Metrobus to increase the price of a fare in order to fund their own ‘Frankenstein’ style experiments. Only one person can help the residents of Crawley in this time of despair.
Robin Hood is a heroic outlaw in English Folklore who was a skilled swordsman and archer. His typical day would involve taking money from the greedy business tycoons of Nottingham, and sharing the wealth with the hard working citizens. If we could resurrect Robin Hood, and convince him to relocate to a property in Crawley, he may be able to help us defy the Metrobus price increase, and stop the ‘Bus-Human’ hybrids before they take over our roads.
This is, of course, all speculation. The price increase is probably due to Metrobus needing to meet the demanding costs of running a reliable, efficient bus service. The increase doesn’t even apply for tickets booked using the Metrobus app, so many people won’t even be affected at all. The Metrobus price increase is likely a response to increased fuel prices, maintenance, and more traffic due to the recent fog and ice on the roads.
Or they are building ‘Bus-Human’ hybrids.
I’ll let you decide which sounds more believable.
More information about the increase can be found here.