Runway Radio’s Breakfast host Ben Holland speaks out about the news that Metrobus are increasing some of their ticket prices. You can hear Ben every weekday morning from 6:30 -10am at www.runwayradio.co.uk
On the 24th of January, Metrobus increased their fare for buses in the Crawley, Redhill & Reigate and Horsham Metrorider boundaries.
Adult tickets now cost £2.40, whilst children can still get away with the absolute bargain price of £1.20.
Whilst a Metrobus statement says the price hike is “due to increasing costs”, I suspect otherwise. The price is a clearly due to Metrobus needing more money in order to fund their ‘Bus-Human’ hybrid, similar to the research done recently to create a hybrid species of humans and pigs (side note: that is 100% true, look it up).
The obvious advantage of a ‘Bus-Human’ hybrid of course is Metrobus would no longer have to pay for petrol, instead the busses would be able to run on student’s diet of Tea and Pot Noodles.
However, it is unfair of Metrobus to increase the price of a fare in order to fund their own ‘Frankenstein’ style experiments. Only one person can help the residents of Crawley in this time of despair.
Robin Hood is a heroic outlaw in English Folklore who was a skilled swordsman and archer. His typical day would involve taking money from the greedy business tycoons of Nottingham, and sharing the wealth with the hard working citizens. If we could resurrect Robin Hood, and convince him to relocate to a property in Crawley, he may be able to help us defy the Metrobus price increase, and stop the ‘Bus-Human’ hybrids before they take over our roads.
This is, of course, all speculation. The price increase is probably due to Metrobus needing to meet the demanding costs of running a reliable, efficient bus service. The increase doesn’t even apply for tickets booked using the Metrobus app, so many people won’t even be affected at all. The Metrobus price increase is likely a response to increased fuel prices, maintenance, and more traffic due to the recent fog and ice on the roads.
Or they are building ‘Bus-Human’ hybrids.
I’ll let you decide which sounds more believable.
More information about the increase can be found here.
Southern Rail – What happens next?
The Southern Rail Strike saga just keeps getting more and more complex. After announcing there would be no more strikes, Southern Rail have now said that this week they and the RMT union are going back to ACAS for talks this coming Monday.
However, the main news that is concerning rail passengers today is that thousands of passengers STILL haven’t heard back from Southern about compensation for the disruption. A website will be launched next week to help rail users claim back their money, but nearly a month after the last of the strikes, you can’t help but feel that the passengers just aren’t Southern Rails priority.
Like Donald Trump and his Wall, Southern Rail need to come up with a quick and easy way to raise the money in order to compensate the thousands of passengers that have been affected by the industrial action, as they finally start to realise there are consequences to striking for half the year. I’ve listed a few ideas for them to use, instead of them holding 267 meetings with ACAS and the RMT union to try and come up with their own.
Sell the movie rights: The strikes have captured the attention of thousands of people across Britain. Why not make the story of the Southern Rail strikes into a movie? Tip: to really generate money, try adding an alien invasion or a couple of Superheros in the story (Captain Compensation anyone?)
Valentine’s Day Chocolates: On Monday night, there will be hundreds of people traveling home, only to realise they completely forgot to buy a Valentine’s gift for their partner. At every station, set up stands to sell the official Southern Rail Valentine’s Chocolates, with Southern Rail themed engravings such as “I’d delay all services for you” or “you compensate me”.
Replace all trains with Thomas the Tank Engine: Make everyday a ‘Day out with Thomas”! Passengers won’t mind spending a little more (FACT) if they’re travelling to work in style! Bonus – if trains are delayed, instead of complaining online, passengers can just yell at the big round face of Thomas the Tank engine instead!
Alternatively, Southern Rail COULD just hold talks with the unions, whilst still running a full service, thus resolving the issues that have plagued their trains for months now, and not affecting the thousands of people that have to use and rely on them.
But personally, I want to see hundreds of angry of commuters yelling at ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’.