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Ben On Toast

IKEA forces Crawley residents to continue assembling Lego

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Runway Radio’s Breakfast host Ben Holland speaks out about the news that Ikea wont be coming to Crawley.  You can hear Ben every weekday morning from 6:30 -10am at www.runwayradio.co.uk

IKEA, the Swedish firm known for its ‘some-assembly-required’ style furniture, has decided to open a new store in Sussex, nearly 30 miles from Crawley.

This comes as a huge blow to many residents, who have being practicing their assembling skills on Lego for a number of years now. The news means those hoping to assemble something more ‘homely’, such as a chair or a wonderful new double kingsize bed, have to stick to building houses made of tiny little bricks.

Whilst Lego can fuel imagination and creativity, it does not provide suitable living conditions.

Stockholm, capital of Sweden, and the world's largest furniture store.

Stockholm, capital of Sweden, and the world’s largest furniture store.

Lego, a Danish company, have no plans to create bricks large enough to rival IKEA’s furniture range. This is due (I’m speculating here) to the fear that the proud Swedish will retaliate, seeing the move as an attack on IKEA, the heart and soul of Sweden. This is sad, as the ones who truly suffer, are the Great British public.

It is also confusing why IKEA won’t build a store closer to Crawley, considering how big the community is here, and how easy it is to construct one. IKEA stores come in 3 large boxes, and can be assembled within 3 days, if you carefully follow the instructions and don’t lose the tiny little screwdriver.

Perhaps one day, the Swedish and the Danish can walk hand-in-hand, and provide us with easy to assemble furniture at affordable prices together.

But till that day, it’s a 40 minute car journey down the A23 for the residents of Crawley.

 

 

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Ben On Toast

Southern Rail – What happens next?

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The Southern Rail Strike saga just keeps getting more and more complex. After announcing there would be no more strikes, Southern Rail have now said that this week they and the RMT union are going back to ACAS for talks this coming Monday.

However, the main news that is concerning rail passengers today is that thousands of passengers STILL haven’t heard back from Southern about compensation for the disruption. A website will be launched next week to help rail users claim back their money, but nearly a month after the last of the strikes, you can’t help but feel that the passengers just aren’t Southern Rails priority.

Like Donald Trump and his Wall, Southern Rail need to come up with a quick and easy way to raise the money in order to compensate the thousands of passengers that have been affected by the industrial action, as they finally start to realise there are consequences to striking for half the year. I’ve listed a few ideas for them to use, instead of them holding 267 meetings with ACAS and the RMT union to try and come up with their own.

Sell the movie rights: The strikes have captured the attention of thousands of people across Britain. Why not make the story of the Southern Rail strikes into a movie? Tip: to really generate money, try adding an alien invasion or a couple of Superheros in the story (Captain Compensation anyone?)

Valentine’s Day Chocolates: On Monday night, there will be hundreds of people traveling home, only to realise they completely forgot to buy a Valentine’s gift for their partner. At every station, set up stands to sell the official Southern Rail Valentine’s Chocolates, with Southern Rail themed engravings such as “I’d delay all services for you” or “you compensate me”.

Replace all trains with Thomas the Tank Engine: Make everyday a ‘Day out with Thomas”! Passengers won’t mind spending a little more (FACT) if they’re travelling to work in style! Bonus – if trains are delayed, instead of complaining online, passengers can just yell at the big round face of Thomas the Tank engine instead!

Alternatively, Southern Rail COULD just hold talks with the unions, whilst still running a full service, thus resolving the issues that have plagued their trains for months now, and not affecting the thousands of people that have to use and rely on them.

But personally, I want to see hundreds of angry of commuters yelling at ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’.

“You have ruined my day with your delay, I demand answers”

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